Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Am I Doing This Right?

Last night, my husband and I were watching an episode of Counting On on TLC (the Dugger girls' show). One scene showed Jessa, her husband Ben, and their little baby boy, Spurgeon. He was being changed and he started cooing and smiling at his Mama.

"Do you ever miss that?" I asked Jared.

"Yes." he replied. And he meant it.

I immediately started tearing up and getting emotional thinking about my two daughters. They are no longer little babies that we can hold and feed. We have long been out of diapers and haven't been subjected to a Doodlebops episode in years. (The Doodlebops were Katlyn's favorite when she was a toddler. She called them the Bop-bops.)

As hard as those years were for me, they were very precious and I'll never get them back. Time has flown by. This summer, my girls will be eight and ten and I can't help but wonder:

Am I doing this right?

Even though those first years were very tiring and I felt like I was drowning sometimes, it seems that the parenting part was a lot more simple. Now that I have two mini humans with thoughts and feelings and ideas and heart issues, I can't help but wonder if I'm directing their hearts in the right way. Am I doing more than giving them just yes's and no's?  Am I teaching our beliefs and values more than I'm demanding that they do their chores? Am I laughing with and enjoying them more than I'm fussing at them to clean their room and pick up after themselves? 

Some days I don't know. Some days I feel like I'm failing them. Some days are overwhelmingly more wrought with tears and frustration than sprinkled with laughter and smiles.

I'm figuring this out as I go and I pray that God would help me to teach them right from wrong and why those things are right and wrong (the heart issue) , to seek Him in all things, to be a good friend, to be unselfish and caring, to be loving.

It is overwhelming if I rely on my own strength. It's terrifying! But neither I nor you have to parent in our own strength.

Lord, help me to parent in a way that reflects Your heart for us.Show me how to navigate my girls' hearts as they grow and mature. 
Please help me to rely on Your grace and strength when I feel overwhelmed.
Please give Jared and I wisdom as we raise the precious gifts. Amen. 

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