Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Be My Vision

My vision gets a little blurry this time of year.  I don't literally mean my eyesight.  I'm talking about my focus, my view of things.  It all gets a little hazy.  

And I know I'm not the only one.  

Right now, I can hardly tell if I'm going or coming.  Ball just started.  Both of my girls are playing this year.  One is playing t-ball and the other is playing coach pitch softball.  We have games until mid-May, which means we are at the ball field three or four nights a week until then.  A lot of the games are at the same time or they overlap, and  hubby is helping coach our oldest's team.  Also, my youngest has dance on Tuesdays and my oldest has tumbling on Thursdays.  And that is just my girls' activities.  That doesn't account for the time I need to exercise, keep up my home and complete home projects, take pictures, edit pictures, write blog posts, try to grow my business, volunteer at school, participate in a civic club, church, singing in a Christian band, and am I missing something?  Oh, yeah. Family time. Where am I going to fit that in?  

This time of year is so busy.  I feel like to survive, my vision turns to tunnel vision.....I can only see what is directly in front of me for the moment. My friends and family probably think I've dropped off the face of the planet.  My grandmother called me last week and wanted to know why I hadn't called her in a while. It's not that I didn't want to call her and certainly wasn't because I don't care. I also had a friend contact me last week wondering if I was okay because she hadn't heard from me in so long. I just haven't thought much about anything else than what is directly in front of me.  I'm in survival mode. 

Easter is only a week and a half away.  It snuck up on me.  My tunnel vision is so narrow right now, I haven't even thought much about it. My vision hasn't been Him like it needs to be.  

I love the hymn, "Be Thou My Vision."  It's been quietly playing in me for a while.  Even a few weeks ago at a friend's paint party, it percolated in my heart and that is what I ended up painting on my Easter door hanger. I think even then I knew my vision was getting a little blurry. 

I like how Ruth of The Better Mom paraphrases each line of the hymn: (original lyrics in bold)

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Let me see things through Your eyes, as You cleanse my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Don’t be anything to me except all that You Are.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
No matter the time of day, the best thing upon which my mind can meditate is You.
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Whether I’m awake or asleep, Your presence brings light to my heart. 

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
You have already defeated the destruction of my soul
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
I long to be with You at your Throne where all things revolve around the True Sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
No matter what happens, or what woos my heart
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Please let me see all things through the filter of You, for You are Ruler, Leader, Lover, Savior, My God. 

 So, today, I'm taking a deep breath.  Slow breath in . Slow breath out. I'm closing my eyes.  And I'm praying this prayer:

Lord, be my vision. When I open my eyes again, may I see not my tunnel vision but You, and all things through Your filter. Help me to keep a correct perspective and make time for the things that matter most, You and my family. Still be my vision, Lord. 

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